Four signs of true commitment

Wouldn’t you agree that most people go into a marriage with the intention of it lasting? I don’t think anyone should say, “I do” if they are thinking “I wonder” or “I don’t know if.”

But thank God for the couples who are committed even when their marriage isn’t perfect and things are a hot mess. I admire, and even commend, the couples who show an immense level of commitment to each other and their covenant.


It’s unfortunate that most things we see on television scream secrets, lies and infidelity. And don’t believe the lies you see on TV because infidelity ain’t that fun. Just know that society is very curious about how couples have longevity with each other. Deep down inside, so many people look at “happy” couples and want to know, “How did you do it? How did you stay married so long and stay happy?” 

There is simply one answer to those questions. Couples who are radically committed to each other have determined that the most important thing is their covenant (the marriage) and they consistently live by and exhibit the following standard.


1. It’s hard as heck, but I ain’t leaving you. This means you are in it until your last breath. There is no divorce; there is no separation; and there is no stepping out.


2. I won’t give up on us. This standard is not for the lazy couple. Not giving up on your marriage means you are in it to do the work. Whatever is required, you are ready to jump in and get it done together.


3. What do I need to do differently? Yes ma’am and yes sir, you must be open to change and grow. This is not the time for you to sit around and point fingers at your spouse or keep a naughty or nice list. Nah, that ain’t how it works. This is where you point the finger at one person and that is YOU. The moment you start to dig deep and have a major reconstruction of your flaws and faults, then you will have personal growth. The goal is for you to grow into a better spouse; a better person.


4. What can I do for you? Now here’s the magic question spouses are not asking each other. This means you really care and you want to see your spouse happy. Your spouse just wants to know that you give a damn and act like it. I just want to remind you that you took the vow to love, honor, and cherish. Asking how you can serve your spouse is a symbol of that vow.


One beautiful thing about the truth is it’s not long and there’s no fluff in the truth. My intent is not to step on any toes but my goal is for marriages to reflect God’s image and be holy and happy, holy and hot, and holy and in HIM. So, if you are half way in your marriage you are not reflecting HIS image. Look at how God is fully committed to you; he doesn’t half way show up and you shouldn’t either.

Here’s a promise that I can stand on whole heartedly with faith and truth. If you and your spouse implement these four standards of commitment in your marriage, you will be that couple people ask, “How did you do it?”